Recently though, I've had this recurring thought in my mind.
I am Dory.
I never knew that having kids would have such a significant impact on my thinking capacity. My brain is full of so much important information like:
What fundraisers are due for what activities?
Where in the world did my youngest toddle off to?
When is it my kids' turn for show'n'tell or I'm scheduled to be a parent helper?
Will my sister and I ever get called up for Amazing Race? (Like, seriously.)
What's for dinner?
And how many times have my kids pooped in a day?
There isn't room for much more!
It doesn't take much for me to lose my train of thought. It drives me CRAZY when I'm in the middle of a story or explanation or something and I forget what my point was. Often an interruption from a wee one (with a loud attention-grabbing voice) is to blame...
We'll go with that.
The other day, I was in the shower and I forget what prompted this line of thinking (surprise, surprise) but I was trying to remember the word for the disease that some people get as they age... when they can't remember things... not dementia, the other one... it's the disease that the lady in Still Alice had (that book totally freaked me out, by the way)... I'm sure it starts with an A... Arthritis?- No... Autism?- No...
I'm sure it was a good 20 minutes that my brain circled around but refused to help me recall that word! After I was done and dressed, I asked Mitch if he knew the name for the disease I was having trouble recalling. He first said, "Dementia?" and when I shook my head, he said, "Alzheimers."
Like it was SOO easy.
There's more than a little irony in the fact that I couldn't remember the term, Alzheimers....
I'm not going to go there just yet.
I blame my crazy on sleep deprivation and the constant drone of wee ones who demand my attention All. The. Time. (I'm crazy about them, by the way)
I think that my ability to retain information was at an all time low when I was pregnant with my third child, Zavi. Jett had just started preschool and I felt ill-prepared for the barrage of responsibility and expectation that comes with having a child in organized programming. I completely missed Jett's picture day! I was supposed to bring him to the school on a morning that wasn't his usual preschool morning, and that was just too much for my prego brain to handle. We didn't have anything on that morning, I just missed it. SO, we have a class picture of Jett's 3-yr old preschool class without him in it. (Needless to say, I don't have that one on display)
We hit a milestone recently and I'm hoping it is one that will help me on my way to reclaiming my sanity... and my memory. Zavier is one month shy of 2 yrs old and he is almost the exact age that Jett was when Kalena was born.
Newsflash, people.
WE ARE NOT PREGNANT!
For the first time in 5 1/2 yrs, we do not have a BABY in our home; nor do we have intentions of bringing another baby into our home. Yes, I do feel a measure of sadness knowing that this phase of our life has come to a close. However, I also feel the thrill that comes with the anticipation of finally being able to rid our house of stinky diapers!!! (BUT... Let's be honest, my kids don't potty train until their three... so I should probably contain my excitement...)
I have discovered one benefit of having a poor memory. I am much less inclined to hold a grudge. :)(This is helpful in a marriage relationship) I don't think I generally have too many issues or conflict in the relationships in my life, but if anyone is waiting for an apology from me, I wouldn't hold your breath. It's likely not going to happen; not because I don't care, (I'm sure I would care if I remembered) but rather, I forgot. Oh, blissful ignorance.
***Disclaimer- If I actually DO owe any apologies, please let me know!!!***
Really though, I wouldn't trade my three brain-cell stealing hooligans for anything. I love being a mom; even if I frequently verge on the side of insanity. I cling to the hope that those brain cells might regenerate. But if they don't, may I forget why I ever needed them. :)
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